


To Keep

by fineinthemorning



Series: Bouquet of Our Broken Notes [4]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dubious Consent, M/M, POV First Person, Physical Abuse, Suicide, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 08:19:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16215143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: Once you've found what you thought was lost, you'd keep it close enough to prevent ever losing it again.





	To Keep

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, this is late! I'm behind! I will do my best to catch up. Please re-read the tags before choosing to read this. Thanks~  
> Today's Prompt: See no evil. Speak no evil. Hear no evil.

Knowing we shared the same desires made everything so much easier from there. 

I pulled you in, closer to me, my arms wrapped around you, and you never once resisted. I pressed my lips to yours and you parted them for me, submitting yourself to the promises I spilled between them.

You kissed me back. You kissed me back, and even though you never said a word, I knew you were listening.

You said it back then, at Leblanc, that you and I shared a destiny, that we shared a future, that you and I were fated to love one another. Or at least, that's what you implied, I'm sure of it. I know you best. 

Then again, it's always been a game of opposites with you-- lies in your words and truth in your eyes. You've loved me just as long as I've loved you, haven't you? Since the moment we met? I'm who you're always thinking of, right? In that, we are so much the same. 

I touched your neck, and your hand slid up underneath the hem of my shirt so you could press it flat against my back before digging nails in my skin. You weren't smiling, but I was, and it's always been a game of opposites with you, so your desperation when I threw you into your bed was not to escape but to pull me closer, to have me nearer, to bring us together.

I knew it would hurt, accepting me into you and inside you-- in your body and life, but you couldn't say ' _no_ '. You couldn't say no because you said it yourself. You and I were meant to be. And, I agree. You've always wanted us to come together. That's why you cried .

"I'm so happy I found you," I whispered in your ear when you turned your head aside, face red, cheeks stained in tears.

I think you smiled and said, "Me too," but I was planting kisses down your neck, one hand in your feather-soft hair and the other holding you in place, pressing keepsakes into your skin as you came.

You must have bitten your lip to keep from screaming because your lips were smeared with blood, and as I continued to open you wider to expose your beauty so completely, I traced a steady thumb across your bottom lip, painting it red and ripe. You pressed your lips together, your eyes hazy post-euphoria and arched your back as your tongue wrapped round to suck at my fingers.

Everything has always been a show for you, one you know I can never look away from, one you know I can never deny. I came with your name on my lips-- your name, not the fake title you wear to toy with the world.

In one-another's embrace, we laughed. We threatened, too. Most importantly, we swore.

"I'll never leave you."

"I'll always be with you."

But then, when I held you to your promises, you tried to leave. And, I knew I couldn't trust you. If anyone knows how deep your deceit goes, it's me.

And so, I took your eyes.

I just wanted you to stay; I just wanted to keep you here. You can't blame me for that, not when you're this experience that can be recreated by nothing and no one-- a perfect person for all your beauty and faults. You’d take yourself from me? You’d separate us after I’d already endured the pain of losing you once? You’d willingly put me through that hopelessness a second time?

So, that was why you lost your eyes. You said my eyes were beautiful and that in them, you could see our future. Our future. Together. I made sure they were the last thing you saw. I took your eyes to keep you here, to make sure you'd keep your promise, and it worked.

It made the life we shared better, even.  You had always been so proud, but now you relied on me in ways you never had before. You reached out to me, you called my name, you depended on me so entirely that if I ever doubted I was first in your heart and thoughts--first in anything, those doubts could be laid to rest now.

For a time, everything was perfect. You never needed to leave since I met your every need. And if you ever got too comfortable, I’d move the furniture, rearrange the kitchen cabinets, change the soaps in the bath. You depended on me for everything from finding the remote to meals, from bathing to getting dressed.

But, your mouth was vicious. It would say things that hurt me in ways your bullets never could.

“You damaged me,” it would claim.

“You only care about yourself,” it’d accuse.

"You don't love me," it’d whisper.

And, I hated that. You knew exactly what to say to turn me inside out-- to make me crazy with despair and doubt. 

I sacrificed the love of everyone else to love only you .  I left everything behind to devote my life to only you. 

When you ambushed me with the repetition of these lies to injure my heart, I was left desperate to see the truth in your eyes, but you took that window from me. I hid where your eyes had once been with a blindfold to fight back the temptation to peer inside, but it wasn’t enough.

“You don’t love me now, and you never have.  . . . And, you never will.”

So, that was when you lost your tongue. For a few days after, you tried to speak to me, still, but I know you. I know your pride consumed the last of your language because you could no longer stand to hear the pathetic pleas that fought up your throat to reach me.

And, they never reached me anyway. 

“You brought this on yourself,” I’d remind you, and you would nod your head.

I did miss your voice. Even when you hurt me, your words tasted like honey.

“You realize this punishment hurts us both, don’t you?” I’d ask, and you would nod your head.

You were always beautiful, even then, sitting by the window on the floor with the blindfold around your eyes, leaning against the glass door to the balcony. You’d be so still at times that I’d forget you were alive. I would rush to embrace you, and, as if knowing exactly what I’d been thinking, your breath would catch and your heart would beat loudly as if to say ‘ _I’m still here with you. I’m with you._ ’ I’d cradle you in my arms until you relaxed against me. 

“You’ll never be alone,” I’d vow.

“You’ll always have me,” I’d swear.

Things were so peaceful for so long that I forgot to keep you alert. I forgot to challenge you with the unfamiliar.

So when I’d come home from getting groceries to see you holding the knife, I  did  blame myself. 

But for what you did next, you held full responsibility. When you planted the knife against the wall, holding it firm in your grip, I didn’t expect you to thrust yourself against it, your ear making contact first. You’d waited until I’d come home just to spite me, didn’t you? You wanted me to see the blood pour forth from your ear and splatter across the wall, didn’t you? This wasn’t fair.

“But I love you!” 

Blood dripped to the floor. You slammed the knife back against the wall and rammed your head against it once more. 

“Stop! Don’t do this to me!” How could you ignore my words?  This ‘ _I love you_ ’ and all of the ones before it _should_ have echoed in your ears. They should have reminded you your place in my life.

By the third stab, you had to jerk and yank the knife loose form the open wound you’d inflicted upon yourself. You could hear those promises still echo in your memories, couldn’t you— all of the promises I made to you— all the ones you’d made to me?

“You-you coward!” You were just taking the easy way out all over again. “You promised!” We could have been something more.

By the fourth, you fell to the floor, knife trapped inside your skull while blood pooled on the floor and dyed your hair crimson .  And I fell to the floor, too, wounded beyond repair. I gripped your head firmly to pull the knife free, let it fall to the floor and pulled your limp body close in my arms.

“You promised me, remember? You promised me ‘ _forever_ ’. You said you’d never leave me.”

But you were silent.

“I hate you!”

And I . .  .  I was left alone with all of my resentment for you—what you made me suffer and what you left me with.

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

Was this the destiny you spoke of? The fate you promised?

“I love you,” I heard you say.

**Author's Note:**

> See some amazing art for this story by [ Capacitrice, here.](https://twitter.com/capacitrice/status/1048806612113211393) Special thanks for beta-ing~


End file.
